Nits and Barnacles


A very wise woman told me that the world is full of ‘barnacles and nits’. If you’re not sure what they are, here, let me give you a few examples:


  1. You are put on hold as soon as the bank/hotel/airline/etc. answers the phone; you  listen to tinny music, tapping your foot with impatience, and are subsequently disconnected before you can even talk to a human.
  2. You splurge and get the ‘extra detailing’ while at the car wash; on the ride home, a very large bird uses your car for target practice, leaving a large splat of white/black/and a bit of orange, front and center on your shiny hood.
  3. The in-laws are coming for the big holiday feast and, unbeknownst to you, the cat/dog has chosen to throw-up in the front door entry way.


  1. Those funny-looking brown spots on your hands that you swear weren’t there last year, and you were determined to ignore but were pointed out to you by some little ‘cherrub’ with grubby hands and an innocent smile (you explained that those spots are really just freckles….yeah, right!).
  2. Those little bits of skin that seem to love to form in annoying places encouraging you to buy that bulky turtleneck, rather than the lovely ‘plunging V-neck’ that would have been perfect for that outfit you bought last year (but have never worn because you want to save it for a ‘special occasion’) (by the way, when you finally get around to wearing it, and it no longer fits – that’s a ‘nit’).

…anyway, you get the picture.

It is my belief that Murphy (you know, the guy that runs ‘Murphy’s Law’ – anything that can go wrong, will go wrong….blah blah blah…) is the guy that is in charge of nits and barnacles. So, at least you know who to blame when you step in the rather large pile of nasty smelling stuff that was inconveniently left right outside your gate and is now wedged into the sole of your shoe.

So, what do you do when you find a barnacle or nit? It doesn’t seem appropriate to rant and rave (barnacles and nits aren’t quite big enough for that) — you can whimper and moan (but people will think you’re a bit of a whiner, so I wouldn’t recommend that either) – a heavy sign and a knowing look seems to be the most common response, although I think I know a better one. Why not see those nits and barnacles for what they are – fate’s way of telling you that the world actually is a pretty comic place.

So, the next time you run into that nit or barnacle, give it a shrug and a smile. See if you can turn the tables on Murphy and get HIM a bit frustrated for a change.


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